Sunday, November 04, 2007

I am @ jurong west home, using my bro's laptop
the week that has just passed
hmmm how do i describe it
its both mentally tiring and physically ok
other than the usual travelling around
and getting used to my normad living
there's still somethings that I feel I've contributed a bit
and being able to be of some help to others
at least i think...
if not maybe adding more trouble for others
my usual "xiaoness" aka craziness has increased
in an attempt to deal with my numbness and moodiness
i guess in some way it does help a lot
to just say nonsensical things
sometimes you just dont feel like saying anything that is right
but yet again sometimes when I try to explain or say something
it has no meaning to it
it is just me
it is just words that comes automatically out of my brain
the more you try
the more it gets worse
so during these times
i prefer and regret saying something
probably it's best not to say anything in the first place
but yet you see you have already said something which cannot be taken back
so you just have to dig your head inside the mud
and let your whole face be dirty and smelly
and making others unhappy or upset another person without knowing it
that's me
I know I can't please the whole world
I cant be forever be the kind soul that always says the right things at the right time at the right place to the right person
I am not a saint
It's just me
I am not taking away all the responsiblities of the words that I say
I should be responsible for them
but when I feel that I am not
It's just me

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whisperingwood out
@ |1:20 AM|