Sunday, November 18, 2007

time 1741 @ jurong west home
now watching jay's explaining how to sing his cowboy song over mtv channel
hey really, the song is really easy to sing...
just anyhow hum hum...then say hee ha in the end!
haaaaaa =D
he even taught the audience some of his dance move in his mv
super funny...he even said need to do warm up exercise before dancing!!!

been sick for 1 whole month
flu, fever, sore throat, running nose, cough, gastric...
all in one go!
not sure whether it's getting any better
but today went to see doc again after church
all kinds of pills and medicine again
I just hope to get well soon soon
has not been sick for so long
oh man...really sad ;(
when you are feeling sick
think I naturally feel not only physically weak but emotionally and spiritually weak
my inner thoughts have become so weak
so all my fears has transformed into nightmares
and some of my fears and nightmares just bounced back in reality!
I am just gripped by it
and I realised how weak I am
for I am weak, then I am strong in the Lord
Din expect fear to struck me
Fear is so real
I've not been so afraid until the flashbacks came back

I was feeling super terrible and lousy about myself don't know why
Just keeping quiet does it help
having flashbacks or nightmares do not help either
sometimes I just don't know wat to do
or wat to say
so I just keep quiet
will it help?
I really don't know
feel at a lost
feeling of inadequacies and self doubt just seep in
sometimes I don't even know wat I am doing
adjusting to adjustment
threading on deep water
am I doing right or wrong?
seems to be doing worse in wat I am doing
can't explain rite
can't express myself rite
can't talk things rite
hey, mx, wat are you doing!?
seemed to be an irony
I tends to keep quiet more and more nowadays
I don feel like talking too much
but yet I am required to talk
Can I don't talk?
will it be better?

Labels: week

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whisperingwood out
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